December 2009
99 posts
variations on a holiday rant, part 3
‘vegetarianism’? not a disease. i got asked if anyone else in my family was affected the other day. i of course assured them that it was linked to the diabetes and cardiovascular disease genes so it really wasn’t my fault and that they should blame mendel and his accursed pea plants.
variations on a holiday rant, part 2
just because i am a (pseudo)vegetarian that happens to eat fish does not mean that fish is the only thing i eat. it’s not that hard to make meals vegetarian friendly. ‘vegetarians’ are really very easy to please people. make a sidedish of beans? we have a main course. scramble some eggs? i’m bloody happy. (and don’t act all surprised i eat eggs. those that don’t...
variations on a holiday rant, part 1
Me: Hi Grandma!
G-ma: I made soup.
Me: Is there meat in it? I don't eat meat.
G-ma: No. There's no meat in it! It's pork.
Me: I don't eat meat. or pork.
G-ma: There are vegetables in it. I cooked all afternoon. Eat the damned soup.
Me: *eats bit of carrot* Mmmmm, delicious. Let me get those dishes for you.
Why I don't go home...
exactly. what would christmas be without the bickering? my family drove 700 miles just so we could listen to extended family fighting.
xblondey112x:
Don’t let it bother you. It’s not Christmas without yelling
pacislaqueus:
We finish eating muffins for breakfast. Dad goes to play computer games even though Mom says we’re getting ready to open presents. Mom yells at Dad. All sorts of...
because it's been too long... →
remind me to never use any of you as character...
Sarah: i just met your twin
Sarah: well, i didn't meet her. she was on the tv.
Sarah: but she owned 5 ferrets and superglued a man's junk to his leg. it made me think of you.
my break started 10 hours and 22 minutes ago.
God, I can’t wait for it to be over.
“i don’t know how but somehow you’re going to be cynical of...”
– my dad
(true, true)
because i couldn't resist anymore and finally...
Gay Marriage Killed the Dinosaurs:Top 17 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong
17. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans. 16. Gay culture is a new fad created by the liberal media to undermine long-standing traditions. We know this is true because gay...
Me: mmmmmmm uuuuuuhhhhh baaaaahhhhh sleeeeeeeping mmmm
Dad: Hi! How are the roads there?
Me: mmmm *stumbles to window* uuuugggghhhhfine
Dad: Great! So there's no power here and I'm cold and bored so we're coming to stay in your [very very small and extremely dirty] apartment! See you soon. Bye!
Me: *finally wakes up* mmmmk... what?
interesting tidbits
9 states in the USA currently have “forced sterilization laws” leftover from the early 20th century eugenics movement in the US [Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Michigan, Maine, Virginia, North Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi];
only 4 states in the US currently allow gay marriage [Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, and Vermont (New Hampshire and DC have passed bills that have not yet taken...
well yes, but i do that too ;) i try to limit it to people with lots of followers or for posts that have been reblogged many times, but sometimes there’s just something i think is cool so i snatch it. what can i say? born to be a creeper.
harajukugrl87:
there’s a difference between reblogging a group, like fuckyeah_____ [whatever], and reblogging just a random person on the net.
...
*slowly raises hand* i reblog strangers all. the. time. sometimes i follow them. randomly.
that’s how you find stalk-ees make friends and become a creeper popular!
harajukugrl87:
nothing’s more disturbing than having someone you don’t know reblog you on their blog. go away creepy person. find your own damn pictures!
[totallyamanda] (without the brackets) is the one who reblogged a...
I'm freaking speechless. If she is already booty... →
^^ imagine if you had twins- all the bumpin’ and grindin’ goin’ on in there^^
pacislaqueus:
Kidz Bop is gonna come out with a new line: Baby Jamz. Play rap/pop/shitty music for your 1 year old to learn to ho dance to before they are even potty trained.
harajukugrl87:
wow. she must have excellent role models.
what the hell is the world coming to?
...
http://fuckyeahshirtlessguys.tumblr.com/ →
just had this feeling, some of you would be interested. for some reason.
i can haz break? now! kplzthx
yes, because pulling an all-nighter to write a paper i’ve procrastinated on for 3 weeks entitles me to spend an hour on amazon christmas shopping for myself.
edit:// how i know this paper will be a great success? it’s 2am and i’ve started using terms like prenatal abortion. last time i checked those postnatal abortions were pretty darn tricky…
bamboozlingwhamboozles:
My english teacher used to say:
“Procrastination is like masturbation! In the end, you’re only screwing yourself! Everybody does it, even though they all know it kills kittens.”
I'm freaking speechless. If she is already booty... →
(via thecerebrallibrarian)
and then i was like… whoa!
my dad imparts gems of wisdom to his children...
fruit flies have the largest sperm of any animal on planet earth, including elephants
and the largest body weight percentage for male reproductive organs of any animal
the year in review- internet style
Fastest Rising YouTube search terms by month (Global)
January: inauguration February: christian bale March: the climb April: susan boyle May: pacquiao vs hatton June: michael jackson thriller July: michael jackson August: usain bolt September: kanye west October: paranormal activity November: bad romance December: tiger woods
Fastest Rising YouTube search terms by month (U.S.)
January: obama...
536. TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS: THEY ARE TIGHTS.
(via gotwisdom)
geez, last time i checked in he was getting big kudos just for getting swallowed by a whale…
xblondey112x:
1980. But I guess it’s no worse than the time he went to space in 1965.
angelasolitaria:
Since when?
xblondey112x:
Never understood why Pinnochio had a Christmas special.
Since when?
xblondey112x:
Never understood why Pinnochio had a Christmas special.
dear maintenance:
i don’t actually have a furnace, so why are you sending me a notice to have my apartment clean and ready for “furnace closet” inspection as of tomorrow?
all that and neither one of you needs bail money? muy impressivo
thecerebrallibrarian:
They swept the floor, washed dishes, wiped off the counter and took out the trash today/
xblondey112x:
You can call me whatever you want to but those sticky notes worked.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
((`))
“dammit, why’d you have to post all these male models? i was just innocently...”
– Erin (yay for throwing everyone off at exam time. I think we’re doing y’all a favor, Merry Christmas.) (via xblondey112x)
you know how james bond has a license to kill? i think certain people should get to walk around half naked all the time (license to thrill?) hey, i’m makin’ a list,...
I don't care if it is a movie about a holiday that... →
favorite line already:”My closest relationship is with my blackberry! Thank God it vibrates!” AND there’s a marching band in it.
IKYN, directly from a scientific paper
So we have to read this scientific paper on molecular diagnostic techniques for a certain form of mental retardation. One of the things they include is a list of characteristics that indicate you should screen for this disorder, which includes the following:
being too helpful
gaiety, cheerfulness
being talkative
speaking quickly
being chaotic (idk what this even means)
impulsivity
While I...
Sarah's wish list...
disturbed
harajukugrl87:
…disturbing…?
thecerebrallibrarian:
I thought Santa Claus, I would ask him for Mariah Carey’s Breast Juice.
Sarah and Logan's study break
1. why OH why don't we have our own talk show?
"Ivey: interrogation table,bed, tomato , tomato"
.
2. Alani, dem's fightin' words. Actually, I kinda agree with you. So, still fightin' words, just not sure with who(m).
"Ivey: she says you're giving her these scrawny little white boys that look like they just got out of high school, your taste needs to mature"
.
3. sarah, we need to have a talk
"Ivey: that's the same one we found. he looks sketchy and dirty and french
Ivey: no sarah
"Sarah": yummmm
"Sarah": i like my men like i like my....fries
"Sarah": dirty and french?"
.
4. Dammit. I just finished my googling from the last time you brought this up. Now I have to start all over again!
I'm not quite sure that Roy was right on this one,... →
(via thecerebrallibrarian)
if he only knew some of the things i used to say during bball games… wow…
my dad went fishing and caught an octopus for christmas dinner.
i <3 my family
lolz
in the spirit of the holidays, i love how everyone’s posts have degenerated to: “EFF genetics/italian/chaucer/jewish studies!!!!”
on second thought, rosa/logan/ivey’s fyeahnakedmen! may just be the healthiest way to deal after all…
major amuse
pacislaqueus:
Thoughts whilst watching the music video to Pokerface by Lady Gaga.
10. You can see that guy’s penis silhouette…
“they’re so not loquacious”
– Sarah’s definitive word on clams
i'm pretty sure there are better things i could be...
i just can’t, for the life of me, think of what they are…
because joss whedon is *the man*: fav quotes
"Very occasionally, if you really pay attention, life doesn’t suck."
"The English Language is my bitch. Or I don't speak it very well. Whatever."
"Always be yourself... Unless you suck"
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn."
"People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy."
"Every day is a negotiation, and sometimes its done with guns."
“…it’s in the Evil Nemesis Handbook to divulge your entire diabolical...”
– more AfterEllen stuff
“Sloan Sloan may not be college material, but there are plenty of other things...”
– AfterEllen’s Review of Grey’s Anatomy Episode Holidaze
