December 2010
78 posts
xblondey112x:
Ever notice how bored Oprah looks when you’re not talking about her or black people?
Wink in a Sauna excerpt #1: Y'all have fun...
**K has entered the room**
**A has entered the room**
**E has entered the room**
**SI has entered the room**
K: now we’ll have to recap
A: so there is a sauna at the hotel
A: and we were thinking of all bum rushing it
A: with > in there
K: we're waiting for the opportune moment when > is trying to relax in the sauna
K: and then the s are there... and the clothes aren't anymore
K: and then A spontaneously starts a game of wink
SI: WINK!!!!
SI: wink only has 3 rules...no tickling, no hair pulling, and if you want someone to get off you, you have to say stop not ouch
K: we can have a better safeword than that
SI: pineapple?
SI: I can just see it. nope, I won't get off you until you guess that random work that I'm thinking of that changes every time you guess it right
K: we can tag team people in, right?
E: yes!
SI: that game is seriously exhausting
K: maybe we can get room service to the sauna?
A: ooh chocolate covered strawberries
A: and chocolate covered >
SI: can we mud wrestle except use chocolate for mud?
K: what kinda chocolate should we use?
E: the chocolate fondue kind
A: melt godiva
A: hell it’s the mariotte
E: oohs it’s a 4 star
K: We’ll just call down to the front desk “can you deliver 50lbs of melted godiva at room temperature to the sauna at 7:30? Just put it on X’s tab.”
SI: I’m sure his wife would love to know what he’s doing with 50lbs of melted chocolate.
A: He had a sweet tooth.
A: that wasn’t supposed to be sexual
K: right. Well that’s who this whole thing started… and see where we end up…
A: how is talking about > non-sexual?
E: um > = sexual. it’s in the dictionary!
**SS has entered the room**
Wink in a Sauna excerpt #1: umm...Merry...
**K has entered the room**
**A has entered the room**
**E has entered the room**
**SI has entered the room**
K: now we’ll have to recap
A: so there is a sauna at the hotel
A: and we were thinking of all bum rushing it
A: with > in there
K: we're waiting for the opportune moment when > is trying to relax in the sauna
K: and then the s are there... and the clothes aren't anymore
K: and then A spontaneously starts a game of wink
SI: WINK!!!!
SI: wink only has 3 rules...no tickling, no hair pulling, and if you want someone to get off you, you have to say stop not ouch
K: we can have a better safeword than that
SI: pineapple?
SI: I can just see it. nope, I won't get off you until you guess that random work that I'm thinking of that changes every time you guess it right
K: we can tag team people in, right?
E: yes!
SI: that game is seriously exhausting
K: maybe we can get room service to the sauna?
A: ooh chocolate covered strawberries
A: and chocolate covered >
SI: can we mud wrestle except use chocolate for mud?
K: what kinda chocolate should we use?
E: the chocolate fondue kind
A: melt godiva
A: hell it’s the mariotte
E: oohs it’s a 4 star
K: We’ll just call down to the front desk “can you deliver 50lbs of melted godiva at room temperature to the sauna at 7:30? Just put it on X’s tab.”
SI: I’m sure his wife would love to know what he’s doing with 50lbs of melted chocolate.
A: He had a sweet tooth.
A: that wasn’t supposed to be sexual
K: right. Well that’s who this whole thing started… and see where we end up…
A: how is talking about > non-sexual?
E: um > = sexual. it’s in the dictionary!
**SS has entered the room**
Wink in a Sauna excerpt #2: in which we seek the...
K: so how many people bumps it from a something-some to an orgy?
E: um I think 5 constitutes one
SS: what the hell did I just get myself into?
E: An orgy
SS: It’s 6 I thought?
SS: who am I talking to?
SI: I’d say 5 is an orgy
K: is it wrong to invite people in like "oh can you help us out? we're having a naughty online conversation that was a threesome, then became a foursome, and now we need one more person to be an "orgy"?"
**R has entered the room**
**SE has entered the room**
E: 7 is defs an orgy now. Go us
Wink in a Sauna excerpt #2: in which we seek the...
K: so how many people bumps it from a something-some to an orgy?
E: um I think 5 constitutes one
SS: what the hell did I just get myself into?
E: An orgy
SS: It’s 6 I thought?
SS: who am I talking to?
SI: I’d say 5 is an orgy
K: is it wrong to invite people in like "oh can you help us out? we're having a naughty online conversation that was a threesome, then became a foursome, and now we need one more person to be an "orgy"?"
**R has entered the room**
**SE has entered the room**
E: 7 is defs an orgy now. Go us
Wink in a Sauna excerpt #3: in which we discuss...
SS: how do we con him into this?
SE: I have ways
K: I thought we were still calling it “playing wink while covered in chocolate”?
R: is that some british term?
SI: no it’s a game
SS: it does sound very innocent
SE: I have wink injuries
SI: It’s been called sex with your clothes on
SI: I had bruises and scrapes after the last time I played
SI: wink as a bonding activity next year?
Wink in a Sauna excerpt #3: in which we discuss...
SS: how do we con him into this?
SE: I have ways
K: I thought we were still calling it “playing wink while covered in chocolate”?
R: is that some british term?
SI: no it’s a game
SS: it does sound very innocent
SE: I have wink injuries
SI: It’s been called sex with your clothes on
SI: I had bruises and scrapes after the last time I played
SI: wink as a bonding activity next year?
Wink in a Sauna excerpt #4: in which we get down...
SS: where is A?
A: I went to the store to buy chocolate
A: I don’t think the hotel will have enough
A: I got a whip too
A: and whipped cream
A: and fuzzy handcuffs
A: and naughty dice
SI: there are some horse riding crops around my house…
K: well bring a saddle too… why not?
R: I mean if we’re gonna make this an orgy, let’s do it right
K: what? Are there official guidelines?
SS: no socks!
E: Orgies: For Dummies
A: 7 minutes in sauna heaven with >
A: but I get 70 cause it was my idea
SE: you think he can last for 70 minutes?
K: well if he needs energy there’s the chocolate
SS: AOL said good sex only lasts 3-12 minutes
A: oh he’ll last for 70 with me
A: it takes that long
A: there are the pre-warm up stretches
SE: Dude, this isn’t an act at SeaWorld you don’t have to do stretches jeez
A: and then we have to run laps
K: so does that count as foreplay
A: with the back massages
Wink in a Sauna excerpt #4: in which we get down...
SS: where is A?
A: I went to the store to buy chocolate
A: I don’t think the hotel will have enough
A: I got a whip too
A: and whipped cream
A: and fuzzy handcuffs
A: and naughty dice
SI: there are some horse riding crops around my house…
K: well bring a saddle too… why not?
R: I mean if we’re gonna make this an orgy, let’s do it right
K: what? Are there official guidelines?
SS: no socks!
E: Orgies: For Dummies
A: 7 minutes in sauna heaven with >
A: but I get 70 cause it was my idea
SE: you think he can last for 70 minutes?
K: well if he needs energy there’s the chocolate
SS: AOL said good sex only lasts 3-12 minutes
A: oh he’ll last for 70 with me
A: it takes that long
A: there are the pre-warm up stretches
SE: Dude, this isn’t an act at SeaWorld you don’t have to do stretches jeez
A: and then we have to run laps
K: so does that count as foreplay
A: with the back massages
Wink in a Sauna excerpt #5: in which our dirty...
K: what could he NOT like about 30 girls, chocolate and a LOT of attention?
R: if not we’d have to worry about him
A: ooh think of the facebook pictures
SI: at least we know he’s “handsy”
K: he’ll have his hands FULL
E: ?
SS: so…
SE: Story time!
SS: this girl made out with > at a party
SS: !!!!!!!!!!!!!
R: WOAH
E: that BITCH
SE: !!!
**D has entered the room**
D: it is me
D: on first sight, figgered looks a lot like fingered
SE: I thought that too
SI: you can tell where our minds are
SS: in a BAD place
K: dirty places
E: way below the gutter
SE: I like it down there, it’s warm and cuddly
R: and dark
K: OH MY GOSH GUYS GUESS WHAT?
K: on his profile?
E: > has agreed?!
K: EMPLOYER: [REDACTED] CHOCOLATE STORE
R: this is working out perfectly
Wink in a Sauna excerpt #5: in which our dirty...
K: what could he NOT like about 30 girls, chocolate and a LOT of attention?
R: if not we’d have to worry about him
A: ooh think of the facebook pictures
SI: at least we know he’s “handsy”
K: he’ll have his hands FULL
E: ?
SS: so…
SE: Story time!
SS: this girl made out with > at a party
SS: !!!!!!!!!!!!!
R: WOAH
E: that BITCH
SE: !!!
**D has entered the room**
D: it is me
D: on first sight, figgered looks a lot like fingered
SE: I thought that too
SI: you can tell where our minds are
SS: in a BAD place
K: dirty places
E: way below the gutter
SE: I like it down there, it’s warm and cuddly
R: and dark
K: OH MY GOSH GUYS GUESS WHAT?
K: on his profile?
E: > has agreed?!
K: EMPLOYER: [REDACTED] CHOCOLATE STORE
R: this is working out perfectly
Wink in a Sauna excerpt #6: 1AM, hour 3, in which...
K: randomly… what if we played sink on the hotel hallway?
SE: Sink?
SS: sink?
E: sink?
K: it’s wink
D: sink?
K: with…
K: . uh
SE: sink?
D: wink?
E: s
SE: sink
A: SEX!
K: YES
R: swink?
E: wink
K: swinkified
SS: swinky
since over piccsgiving Ivey and I realized there was a disturbing lack of wink in a sauna transcripts online and i now have time that we’re going to pretend couldn’t be spent doing almost anything more productive, today I went through the wink in a sauna chat and tried to cut it down to the highlights in a way that couldn’t possibly incriminate someone. seriously, guys, this was...
@ Walmart
Cashier: *mumbles something that turns out to be asking for a favor*
Me *walking away, confused as hell*: What just happened?
Rachel: I think he mistook you for a nice person.
Me: How does that happen?
Rachel: I really don't know...
“Woodstock was supposed to be some great social movement but the only people we...”
– Dad
“Woodstock was supposed to be some great social movement but the only people we...”
– Dad
Awesome Marching Band Drill →
For serious, watch this…
“I don’t understand why people like flying. All you do is sit in itty-bitty...”
– Dad
“I don’t understand why people like flying. All you do is sit in itty-bitty...”
– Dad
“Psychiatrists tend to be more crazy than their patients. Therapists are whores....”
– The Office (via xblondey112x)
...Laser rocket arm: What time is it? →
pacislaqueus:
I guess in grad school professors don’t give a fuck about helping their students.
Hi Erin, this is life. Welcome to the next 2-7 years of yours (depending on graduate degree duration). But now that you’ve figured out the secret to graduate school; please do not share with your peers so they can suffer accordingly. Also, feel free to eventually go into academics and make...
“oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone”
– CNN, of course
Seriously? The “cuddle” hormone?! How cute! How innocent! How carefree! How insulting! Have people lost all respect for biology? There’s nothing cute and cuddly about hormones people- they’re strong-willed, complex biological molecules that can, at any given...
“I’ve been watching those Christmas specials on tv- you know like Rudolph...”
– Mom <3
Dad: There were a lot of important social reforms in the 60s and 70s- birth control, psychedelic drugs, pantyhose and television.
Me: ... pantyhose?
“You should watch glee. It’s just like buffy but instead of killing...”
– My poor deprived friend was watching Sailor Moon, so I tried to convince her to drink the glee-aid.
